sometimes the best time to clean is after the party

That's the type of day I'm having: catching up, recovering from the weekend (even though it's already Wednesday), trying to feel human again. How about you? How is the holiday season shaking out?

i want a new moon lunchbox

As long as it has a picture of Jacob shirtless on it.

On the page, it's all about Edward; on the screen, however, well...

my poor brother

He asked me to give a short story he'd written a quick read, and I'm giving him the full Browne and King (think SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS) experience. Plus, he's having to deal with an older sister who used to copy edit for a living. Good story, though! I keep telling him that. I just don't want the newbie mistakes (excessive adverbs, shrugged dialog, etc.) to cloud his submission, since I'm sure there's plenty of competition.

are we all just stereotypes?

So I went to a writing workshop over the weekend. Great session, but I noticed something: even though I'd never previously met my fellow classmates, I felt like I'd seen most of them around before. And then I wondered, Are they all thinking the same thing about me? Do I fall into a category of people who tend to take writing classes? On further introspection, I realized, Well, yeah. I guess I probably do! I'm not telling which category, since it doesn't matter, because one thing I've learned from all those classes? Every "type" is inclusive, housing a range of talent. No way to know, until you hear a sample of their work, whose writing has the most potential.

Anyway, please, no one get mad, since this is meant to be all in fun, but here are what I like to think of as the Writing Class Archetypes:

1. The Crazy Lady--If you don't pick her out right away by her random, seemingly self-inflicted haircut, you'll know her when she speaks up, often, in an extremely loud voice. The things she says will meander off topic, and she'll try to monopolize class time with her voice, often trying to hijack the instructor's lesson with her own agenda.

2. The Perfectionist--Always on time to class, her hair is perfect, her outfit is spotless, and her body is probably just this side of anorexic. She often has a journalism background and takes extremely detailed notes.

3. The Disillusioned Attorney--Male or female, this person sometimes shows up to class in a suit, but even if s/he had time to go home and change before class, you'll know them by their conservative hairstyle, expensive shoes, and quality watch. Their work samples tend to feature characters who are attorneys, as well.

4. The Ingenue--This girl is only sixteen or seventeen. She may still have pimples, but she's been writing full-length novels since she was twelve. The rest of the class is secretly jealous. No one talks to her at break.

5. The Bored Housewife--With a diamond on her finger and a luxury SUV in the parking lot, this woman usually sits in the front row. Pretty quickly, the rest of the class gets fed up with her always being the one who volunteers to go first or answer the instructor's questions.

6. Eager Gay Guy--Handsome, eloquent, and well-dressed, he's the life of the party and the teacher's pet. The rest of the class either wants to sit next to him and be his best friend or ignore him because he's getting too much attention.

7. Jr. Career Girl--She's single, still in her 20s, climbing the corporate ladder, taking a writing class to broaden her horizons/enrich herself. Her stories include lots of sex but she often skips class. Unless she has a crush on one of her classmates.

8. Elder States(wo)man--Every class seems to have at least one senior citizen. Friendly folks who'll chat with you in line for coffee on break, they're usually intent on writing a memoir.

9. Looks the Part--Both sexes wear black-frame glasses, quasi-bohemian clothing, a messenger bag, and a deliberate haircut/color. Males of the species may sport a soul patch, while females tend to have their noses pierced.

10. The Outdoorsman--From his full beard down to his Teva sandals, all this guy's clothes were probably purchased at REI or A16. He might have a slight sunburn since he just got back from a Sierra trek. Between classes, he goes rock climbing and hang gliding. Nature is featured so prominently in his stories, it's pretty much a character.

11. The Beautiful Overweight Girl with Gorgeous Long Hair--Quiet and sweet, she usually sits in the back of the room. Tends to write fantasy.

12. Transient Artist in Residence--For this person, writing is only the latest in a long string of artistic endeavors. At some point in the quarter, s/he will probably pass out flyers for their latest watercolor exhibit or their band's next show. Instead of having a novel/story/article completed (even if it's a prerequisite for the class), this person will "have one in their head," which is why they felt the need to take the course.

And then there are the people who defy categorization, or who straddle more than one stereotype. But like I said--it doesn't matter which category we fall into, since ultimately, it all comes down to the pages.

this november...

I'm not even attempting NaNoWriMo. Instead, I'm wrapping up the revision that doesn't want to die. If I can just get that all finished before December, I'll feel totally accomplished.

ny scbwi

It's official--I'm going! And I can't wait! Yeah, the price is exorbitant when you add up all the travel expenses plus the conference fees, but I'm tapping a few resources I've left unturned up to this point. Plus, I've never been the NYC SCBWI conference before, and I've heard good stories about it from friends, so it feels worth a shot. If not, I'll stick to the L.A. conference in the future.

How about you? Anyone else out there going?

fire week

If you live in San Diego, you know what I'm talking about. Twice recently, we were slammed with big fires in the week and a half before Halloween, leaving kids trick-or-treating down soot-coated sidewalks and tracking ash into the house at the end of the big night. The years we haven't had fires this week, my kids have been mega-sick between October 22nd and 31st. So sick, in fact, that they--gasp!--didn't even feel like trick-or-treating.

So how're things going so far this year? On Friday, we kicked off the season with a tardy trifecta. At least *someone* should have been on time, but no. Forgotten homework and the world's intentionally slowest walk into the school building ate up any slack we had in the three-school drop-off schedule. (And yes, I know we should be carpooling, but it's kind of hard when your kids are so rude to your neighbors in the car that the neighbors--rightfully!--decline from ever again sharing rides. Manipulative, that, since they're generally pretty amiable kids, but they've expressed dismay about carpooling.)

I thought perhaps the curse had been broken, that things might actually be looking up, when the place we're buying a tent trailer from gave us four times what I expected on our camper trade-in. The new toy looks pretty fun, too--sort of the Ultimate Behemoth of tent trailers, with pop-outs and everything. We were hoping to take it camping this last weekend, but I guess it takes them a few days to get it ready, filling the tanks, checking the lines, etc., so we took the old camper for one last stint at the beach. Good times, but when we got home, our middle child announced he wasn't feeling so well. Took his temp: 103.4. Today: still 102. And he's coughing. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I have to wonder if it's H1N1, the way he's lying around in bed like a zombie, since it's confirmed going around in our schools. At least he doesn't argue when I bring him juice to drink.

Whatever it is, something's going around. My oldest son said, at the middle school, it was quiet today. Quiet is not a word generally associated with CVMS, especially when all 1500 kids take lunch at the same time on their tiny campus. At any rate, there were only 20 of the usual 33 kids in his Spanish class, and in science, he was the only one at his four-person table, with all the adjacent tables completely empty.

Maybe I shouldn't have bought so much Halloween candy.